It's all in your mind!

Everyone has days when we feel tired, hopeless, lost, frustrated and just like giving up.  Those are the days when we ask ourselves questions like "Why am I here?" and "What is my purpose?"  On tough days, and we ALL have them, it sometimes feels like it's hard to function beyond getting out of bed.

I am not one of those people who is going to tell you to "get over it" or "cheer up".  In fact, when I am having a hard day, I actually avoid people who spit out cheerful platitudes.   Our struggles are real and hard on this journey we call life.

I believe there are MANY paths to healing.  I also believe what is right for one person may not be right for another.  But what I do know from personal experience is that God, Spirit, the Universe has infinite healing opportunities at our disposal, we just have to be intent on finding the ones that are right for us.

Where to begin?

We all have a tool that we use everyday, consciously or not.  Most of us will never tap into the full potential of this unique God given tool bestowed us at birth.  A tool that is so powerful it has helped send people into space, and propelled humankind into greatness.
That tool is our MIND.
Our mind can be a safe, loving sanctuary, or it can be a lark living hell.  Many believe that we have no choice over what thoughts our mind will bring us on a daily basis, but that's just not true.
WE have control over what our thoughts will be throughout the day. We have control.
Isn't that great news?

Most of us were raised in a society that contradicts the fact that we can control what we think about.  On a good day we give it no thought to it at all, we go with the flow.  The challenge is on the bad days, the hard days.  Is it possible to shift our thoughts on the days that are tough?  Yes!!!!  I am not suggesting that if you have suffered trauma that you should be able to shift thoughts and just be happy, some days we do need to feel bad.  It's okay.  But if you find yourself stuck in a negative thought pattern, the following exercise may help you.  I have practiced this exercise for over a decade.  Often times people ask me "How come you are always so happy?" "How come you are always in such a good mood?"  I promise you, I too have bad days when I'm not feeling my full potential.  Years ago I was introduced to this exercise that I am going to share with you.  If practiced regularly it will shift your thoughts to a more positive place.  It's not a miracle, it is an exercise to practice in order to get the benefits it offers over time.  Try it, if it speaks to your soul try practicing on a regular basis.  I usually do this practice at night before I fall asleep or in the morning as I am waking up.


The practice of gratitude 
This is an exercise to focus on what is going right in your life.  If you only ever focus on the negative aspects, how can God/Spirit give you more? You're already unhappy with what you have, so by focusing only on the negative you actually block the universe from giving you more of the good stuff!

Sit or lay comfortably and think "Today I am grateful for..." and fill in the blanks.
You may be able to come up with only one thing, that's okay.  With time and practice, your list will grow.  It can be big things like "I'm grateful I have a job that lets me support myself" to little things like "I'm grateful I saw a hummingbird today, it really lifted my spirits".   If you can't come up with anything, don't get mad at yourself.  Just repeat the word "gratitude" over and over to yourself.

This is what my list looks like today.

Today I am grateful for the sun shining because my tomato plants really need sun!  I am grateful that I have a secure home to live in.  I am grateful that my family members are alive and well.  I am grateful for my health.  I am grateful that I feel God's support on this next journey in my life.  I am grateful that I have friends that I dearly love.  I am grateful that my pets are healthy and with me on this journey.  I am grateful that I have a car with no issues.  I am grateful that I saw a beautiful lizard today.

Don't try to control how much, or the order of your gratitude, just let it flow.  By practicing this exercise, you are using your mind to set the course instead of letting unhealthy negative thoughts control you. You can practice this exercise anywhere at any time.  If you are having a challenging day, try it.  Remember, it is your God given right to heal, thrive and grow!

Blessings and love, Cheryl

Going with the flow

Yesterday I had my day completely planned out.

I got up early, and was going to write on my blog, go to yoga, and get tedious chores done.  I had everything timed in order to best fit my schedule into my busy day according to how I thought it should flow.

 As I sat down to write I was overcome buy a sense of writers block.  I would try and write, take a break, come back to my desk, struggle with the writing again.  But the words just wouldn't  flow.

I needed to get my blog post done because my yoga class was at 10:45 and I really wanted to attend.  Meanwhile as the words were stuck in my brain, my dog Ellie was going stir crazy.  She kept trying to get my attention by chewing on things like my favorite pair of shoes, grabbing the toliet paper roll and streaming it all over the yard, sitting next to me staring with her forlorn sad eyes, and just generally being a pest.

Between chasing Ellie around the house cleaning up whatever mess she made and trying to push through the writers block,  I was getting nothing done as I planned.  I found my mood shifting to frustration and irritation.  I sat and thought "okay, what I am doing is not working, so what do I need to be doing?"

The answer came to me: take Ellie to the dog park and let her work off her energy.  That meant I would not get my blog post done and I would miss my yoga class.

I looked online and found that there was another class that I could take later in the day.  I was a little nervous because it was more advanced class and I wasn't sure my body would be up to the challenge, but I crossed my fingers, hoped for the best, and signed up.


Meanwhile, poor Ellie had not been out of the house/yard in about three weeks.  When I adopted Ellie she had heart worms and after treatment she could not be spayed for six months.  For the past 20 days she had been in heat, and not wanting to risk a pregnancy, I kept her home.  She was more than ready to run and play, so off to the dog park we went.  While Ellie ran around meeting new dogs and people, I was able to get some exercise in by walking around the dog park and just enjoying life.  We both had a great time!  Ellie got to work off excess energy and the walk was rejuvenating for me.

I came home, changed, and headed off to my yoga class.  Even though it was a more advanced class, I knew the instructor, and had taken classes with her before.  The class was small and intimate.  As we started working into our postures, my instructor came over and did gentle corrections, like helping me place my hands in the correct direction, or assisting me to deeper into the posture.  As the class continued, we started doing poses that involved balance and holding the weigh of ones body with just  arm muscles.

"Uggh" I thought, "I can't support my own body weight with just my arms."

My instructor came over and gently supported my body as I worked into the pose.

"You don't have to try this pose if you're not ready, but I think you can do it" she calmly said while she stood next to my shaking body as it threatened to collapse at any moment.  I made it into the pose, not gracefully mind you, but I did it.  After the class as I was heading to my car, one of my fellow students shouted out to me "You did really good today Cheryl!"  My inner child glowed with pride!

My day did not go as planned, it went better!   I was able to let go of my rigid beliefs of how my day should flow, and in doing so I gained new insight into my true authentic self.  I will admit, I'm not always good at going with the flow, but it was a great reminder that God/Spirit is always present.  Sometimes with things are not flowing the way we think they should, that may be the time to let go, and go with the flow and see what insights you gain.  Try it.  If you are having one of those days that just feels off, try sitting quietly and ask yourself "what should I be doing".  The answer may surprise you.  See what insights you gain by flowing.

Hugs and love Cheryl

The power of a smile!

Do you know that you own a magnificent dynamic tool that is unique to you?  This tool was given to you at birth.  No one else owns this same exact tool that was created for you specifically.

This tool is so powerful it can lift the broken hearted, put someone at ease, make someone feel welcome, it can even show someone you care.  A tool that is always at our disposal, that many of us used when we were younger, but as adults seldom incorporate in our daily lives.

That awesome tool is your smile!

Think back to when you were a child.  How everything was new, delightful, fresh.  Remember how much you smiled and laughed?  Life was joy.  Just existing was pure wonderment!  But as most of us have grown, or in childhood, we learned that the world was not a safe place.  We learned that we were vulnerable, we could be hurt.  Most of us learned that a smile could be interpreted by a predator or someone in power in a way that we did not intend.  So as we grew, we learned to hide our smile.  We learned not to make eye contact with strangers and share our powerful tool.  We kept it hidden away.  Maybe we took it out from time to time to share with those we love and trusted.  Maybe we were hurt so bad in life that we learned to never use this powerful tool again.

When you smile, many amazing and healing things start to happen in your body and soul.

There are 43 wonderful muscles in the human face.  When you smile you use between 17 to 26 of those muscles, releasing tension and stress.  Endorphins or "Happy Hormones" are released improving your mood and energy level. Your heart center lifts releasing negative stale energy and bringing in healing loving energy.  Your soul connects with the divine making you feel vibrant and loved.

So here is you HTG challenge for today.  Do it at whatever level you are comfortable doing or speaks to you.

SMILING WITH YOURSELF

In a comfortable position, sit with you eyes closed.  Take a few deep breaths relaxing you body.  Now just smile!  Hold it for a moment and release.  Try it again, smile, hold, release.  What do you notice?  Can you feel a tingling, stretch, warmth in your face muscles?  How does your heart center feel?  Are there any emotions that are coming up? Continue with this practice for as long as feels right.  You may be able to only do it once, that's okay.  You did it!  Give yourself an internal hug!  Try this practice for a week and see if you notice any changes.

SMILING AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR

I admit this one is goofy and you will probably crack yourself up doing it.  Stand in front of a mirror and smile as big as you can!  Hold it for a few moments, release.  Try it again.  What happens for you?  Are you critical and judging yourself because of your smile?  If so, try to let those feelings go.  No one is watching so give yourself permission to let this powerful healing tool into your life today.  Try it again.  Try different smiles, big ones, small ones.  Open mouth smiles, close mouth smiles.  Experiment, enjoy.

SMILING AT A COMPLETE STRANGER

This exercise can be scary for many.  I especially like to practice this one when I am at the grocery store.  When you make eye contact with a stranger just smile!  This may seem really scary or uncomfortable at first, but try it.  If it is way to overwhelming to smile at a live breathing human, then just smile at a can of soup!  The purpose of this exercise it to get used to smiling again in public.  You can even smile when standing next to someone if looking at them is to much to tackle at this time.  But give yourself credit!  You are doing it!!

When I fist started using my smile again, it felt really fake.  I thought people would know I was smiling a fake smile.  But as time goes on using you smile becomes more automatic.  Soon you will find you are using it again, and in doing so healing yourself and others around you!  Give it a try and see what opens in your life.
Love and hugs, Cheryl

What does it mean to thrive?

I love the word thrive.  It is so luscious with intent.  The word thrive has its origins from Middle English and Old Norse.  It literally means to grow or develop vigorously; flourish.  How wonderful is that!

What does it mean to you to thrive?  To me it means more than just surviving and living without intent or fear, and this is where it gets tricky.  There is a part of me that just wants to curl up in a little ball, pull the covers over my head, stay small and just hibernate.  Following your dreams no matter how big or small, is scary.  It's so easy to look at someone else's life and think that they have it all together.  I assure you they do not.  The toughest job you will ever have is being human. Everyone from movie stars to world leaders all have their challenges.  Some people act on those challenges to improve their lives or circumstances, others do not.  Which will you do?  How do you want to live your life?

I am great at getting in my own way, actually I am a pro at it!  I think of all the times I have self sabotaged myself out of fear.  Fear that I would be judged by someone, fear that I would be punished, fear that I was not good enough.  On my HTG journey I have read many books, attended many classes, searched out many individuals who are on the same journey.  I would like to share with you one of my very favorite writings from an amazing woman who is an inspiration to many, Marianne Williamson.


OUR DEEPEST FEAR IS NOT that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
            Actually, who are you not to be?
                             You are a child of God.
         Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
      We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
 It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.  And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

                                                                         ~Marianne Williamson

I have a laminated copy of that quote above my desk.  I read it when I need inspiration on hard days.  Yes, I have hard days, and so will you on this journey.  One thing I have struggled with is how do I thrive on those days that are hard.  The days when I feel depressed, overwhelmed, sad, hopeless and out of sorts.  Because those are the days that it feels like I am not thriving.  Here is the good news, on those days my body and mind is taking a break.  It doesn't feel like it though.  Most of us have been taught from birth that those are bad feelings and should be avoided at all cost.  I think differently.  Imagine a plant growing.  It grows for awhile, then takes a break, has a growth spirt and then rests.  You don't plant a seed and have it blossom into a full plant overnight, growth like that would be to rapid and actually burn the plant out.  We are the same.  Thriving is a process, and we the caretakers of that process.   So wherever you are today on your HTG journey think about what thriving means to you.  Are you in a growth spirt, or do you need to slow down and rest?  Wherever you are it is okay.  You are loved and blessed beyond measure.  Love and hugs, Cheryl

What is healing?

Most of us have been hurt in life.  Rather it was a dysfunctional family, relationship, accident, disease , bullying or even a thoughtless comment most of us carry the wounds either internally or externally.

So how do we begin to heal?  Where do we start when we think there is no hope?  I think one of the first steps is loving yourself or learning to be your best friend.  I can think of so many time I have said mean, rude and hurtful comments to myself.  Things I would NEVER say to another person.  So why have I said them to myself?  Because deep down I didn't believe that I had the right to be whole, happy, loved, respected.  We all have the right to be valued, happy loved and respected.  Listen to your inner talk and it will tell you where you need to begin your healing.  Here is an example of degrading things I have said to myself, and an example of the new inner speak I am working on.

OLD                                                                                                 NEW
I am fat and disgusting.                                                            I am vibrant and healthy!

I am unlovable no one likes me.                                              I am lovable and well liked!

I am difficult.                                                                           I am a unique person!

Who do I think I am to pursue my dreams.                            I have the right to pursue my dreams!

Its to hard, I can't do it.                                                           If one person can do it, it can be done.
                                                                                                I can do it!

What is your inner speak?  Are you kind and loving to yourself or do you tear yourself down?  Maybe your inner speak is so automatic that you are not even aware of what you are saying.  Try to be conscious of your inner dialogue.  Write down the things you are saying to yourself on a daily basis.  If the things you say to yourself are mean or degrading see if you can counter your inner speak to loving and supportive words.  Think of a dear friend who came to you in pain.  Would you say mean and harmful words or you would say loving and comforting words?  See if you can do this for yourself.  It is one of the first steps in loving yourself!  Love and hugs, Cheryl  

Everyone has the right to heal

Starting this blog has been on my mind for a long time...so here goes!

Recently I left a job that I held for 10 years because the hours I worked were in the middle of the night.  Although I really enjoyed my job, in my personal life, I just was not functioning in a healthy way.  Because I never got 8 hours of straight sleep I was always tired.  I quit cooking healthy meals and started eating what was easy to obtain, usually take out or something out of a can.  I gained weight, my blood sugar and cholesterol shot up and I basically felt like a slug.  I quit taking care of my body and my soul.  It seemed like all I did was eat and sleep.  That is no life for anyone.  It didn't take much soul searching for the answer to reach me, "Its time for you to move on Cheryl."

Choosing to change is a very scary thing indeed.  Even though my life was not all that I wanted it to be, there was a certain comfort in knowing what to expect day in and day out.  I have started this blog because it is time for me to Heal Thrive and Grow.  My therapist (oh yeah I have one) believes that everyone has the right to heal.  I agree with her, but want to take it further and say that everyone has the right to Heal Thrive and Grow.  In this blog I will be sharing tools that have and are helping me along this journey.  It is a journey that will continue throughout my life and my hope is that those of you reading this blog will find the inspiration and courage to do the same.  There are many paths to HTG, no two are the same.  What works for one person, may not work for another.  I would like us all to be gentle with each other in this process.  If you leave a comment or respond to another's comment please do it with love and consideration.  We can build an online community that is loving and supportive as we all strive to become our better selves.  Love and hugs, Cheryl